Books Don't Work Here

Page 65 that would be wrong

65 that would be wrong
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)

in Damsel and Distress

27th Aug 2017, 1:34 AM
So I've been able to keep a steady schedule for a bit now. That means I shouldn’t be jinxing anything saying that you can count on there being an update by the morning of (Monday Wednesday and Friday). But if you feel like checking late the night before it will be up when I finish it. The emphasis being on late since I usually finish somewhere between 2 and 6 in the AM.

Comments:

You can't meddle like that, huh? Leading on your heroine? Making her think that she's in control.

Oh. Wait. She is in control, isn't she. You're doomed.

5th Oct 2011, 9:45 AM edit delete reply

I won't reveal who has how much control here, partially because it will be dealt with later in the comic, and partly because Robin might be reading the comments.

5th Oct 2011, 3:04 PM edit delete reply

In my latest story I discovered that it was a lot easier to write if I let the characters do the hard work of getting my main character to do something she didn't want to do or filling in plot holes.

5th Oct 2011, 11:35 AM edit delete reply

I do try very hard not to have a lot of exposition in the comic, and letting the characters handle explaining/ discussing this kind of stuff is an entertaining alternative.

5th Oct 2011, 3:06 PM edit delete reply

last panel: meddled--> meddling

5th Oct 2011, 4:55 PM edit delete reply

That ellipse is the most sinister thing I've seen today.
Of course telling your potential boss/god that you plan on trying to fight/kill him if you figure out what cards he's holding, is not only bad interview practice, but not very good investigative procedures either.

5th Oct 2011, 4:57 PM edit delete reply

the first part made me smile. as for the second do you want to be the one to tell Robin she acted rashly? I don't think it effects too much though if the directer didn't already know that Robin would be non-compliant then he wouldn't catch this.

5th Oct 2011, 6:37 PM edit delete reply

you are missing a word in the 2nd panel your comment on left.

5th Oct 2011, 6:00 PM edit delete reply

Yeah I see what your talking about its that one over there next to the kerning...

It's much more helpful if you actually provide the word that is wrong AND the fix. Of course I don't actually see a problem my self(and since I still see the 'error' I spotted, there haven't been changes since your post.)

5th Oct 2011, 6:26 PM edit delete reply

I made the change to panel 2 (although I don't think the "it" isn't necessary for the sentience if it not being there confuses people then i should change it. as for the change to meddle in the last panel it was originally past tense which was wrong, but i don't think it needs an ing either. at least not with out reworking the whole sentence.

5th Oct 2011, 6:34 PM edit delete reply

*suction noise as foot is pulled from mouth*
I still stand by the provide the word and a fix, instead of general comments though.

5th Oct 2011, 9:08 PM edit delete reply

clarity is always a good thing. on that note I just saw the other "meddled" in that word bubble so i fixed the whole thing up. I even grayed out Robin's last sentence so it looks like she is saying it under her breath. I also think i will keep today's spelling corrections on the site since they have evolved into a bit more then simple fixes.

5th Oct 2011, 10:09 PM edit delete reply

That's a great plot driver. Follows the common "amnesia" driven story, but has an original twist in the fact that they literally have none. Me Gusta.

5th Oct 2011, 8:09 PM edit delete reply

Thanks I spent a lot of time working on a goal for the story which wouldn't be arbitrary or pointless with the narrator around. I like what i finally settled on and look forward to seeing what you all think once it is fully unveiled.

5th Oct 2011, 10:11 PM edit delete reply

Perhaps panel 3 could be: " I'd hate it if" instead of "I hate the idea of"

5th Oct 2011, 9:08 PM edit delete reply

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